


What Dreams Should Never Be

by gayneku



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: (its not even real character death its in a dream but like), Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreamsharing, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 08:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayneku/pseuds/gayneku
Summary: Neku hasn't seen Joshua since the end of the Game, at least not in reality. But this isn't exactly the ideal reunion he'd hoped for.





	What Dreams Should Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> you know when i said im incapable of writing anything without at least the promise of a happy ending i was mostly joking, but this was supposed to be entirely angst and now look where we are

You don’t mean to invade his dream. It just sort of… happens. He must have been thinking of you, is what you tell yourself, so you don’t have to admit that you were thinking about him, too. 

Still, whatever the reason, you sort of regret it immediately when you notice where you are. It’s the Room of Reckoning, and you feel a twinge of something approaching hurt as you look over at him and see the gun in his hands. Does he really regret not taking the shot that much? You can’t exactly blame him, you suppose, but you’d really thought after the invitation to join him and his friends… Well. Clearly he’s decided that was a mistake. 

You force yourself to look closer, though, and that’s when you see the horror written all over his face, the way his hands are shaking and his eyes are squeezed tight shut with tears leaking out. He looks like he’s struggling when there’s nothing to struggle  _ against,  _ and you realize - this isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare.

You want to go over to him and reassure him - as out of character as it would be, he’s asleep right now, so there’s no way he’d know it’s  _ actually  _ you - but of course the laws of the dream don’t allow you. You’re trapped there just as he is, powerless to do anything but watch as he pulls the trigger. You barely feel the bullet, and then since it’s a dream, you’re watching from above now. Your body crumples to the ground, blood pooling around it. Whatever’s keeping Neku locked in place releases then and he’s kneeling down next to your body in an instant, doing his best to stop the blood flow. You resist the urge to say that it’s a bit late for that. He wouldn’t hear you anyway.

It’s been a few minutes now, minutes of him doing nothing but sobbing over your corpse, and you’re starting to wonder if you can’t just  _ leave  _ \- when something changes. You sense it, before anything else. You and he both look in the same direction at the same time to see - you? 

No. No, that’s not you. Not really. You know that the instant the illusion opens its mouth and words of blame and hurt spill out. Things you would never say - not anymore, at least, now that you’re no longer trying to make him hate you. You can easily see how badly this is affecting him. He’s shaking, harder than ever, and worst of all is that you can tell he believes what the illusion is saying. That it’s his fault, that it would never forgive him, that it  _ hates  _ him, and you feel your fury building until you can’t contain it anymore. Before you realize it, the illusion is gone, and he’s staring up - right at you. Did… whatever you’d done just then… make you visible, somehow? 

“Joshua?” he whispers, his voice hoarse. 

“Neku, what a surprise. I didn’t realize you cared so much about me. I’m almost flattered.” Falling back into the asshole act is easy, too easy. You’d thought if he could see and hear you, then you’d be able to comfort him, but. It seems being honest enough to admit that you care takes more courage than you have, right now. Still, it’s apparently enough, as he laughs a bit. Not much, but better than nothing. 

You slowly lower yourself down til you’re standing on solid ground again, and in an instant he’s got his arms wrapped around you and his face buried in your shoulder. You’re absolutely clueless on what you’re supposed to do. Honestly, you’re not sure anyone has ever hugged you - even back when you were alive - so you just sort of… stand there. At least he doesn’t seem to mind or expect anything else from you.

Eventually, he pulls away a bit and you realize he’s gotten tears and snot all over your shirt. Well. This  _ is  _ a dream, so you try not to mind too much. 

“I’m - I’m so sorry, Joshua,” he stammers out, and you barely manage to keep from rolling your eyes.

“You really don’t need to apologize. You already proved in reality that you couldn’t pull the trigger if your life depended on it.” 

He gives you a confused look. “What do you mean?” 

Right. He wouldn’t know that this is a dream, would he? You wave your hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. The point is, I’m here and so are you, so there’s nothing to apologize for.” 

He doesn’t seem to get it, but he nods anyway. 

“You’re not… going to disappear, are you?” 

And just like that, there goes your plan to wake yourself up and get out of here once he’d calmed down enough. How can one simple human have you wrapped around his finger the way he does? You can’t understand it. You probably never will. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you tell him. Though, this place probably isn’t ideal if you’re going to be sticking around. It’s completely empty except for the two of you, and your dead body, and you’re pretty sure he doesn’t want to stay here if he doesn’t have to. You focus for a moment and manage to shift the scenery to Hachiko. It takes a bit more effort than you would’ve liked, since it’s his dream and not yours, but it’s more than worth it when you see the smile break across his face. 

“Let’s get ice cream,” he says, and lets go of you. You allow yourself to miss the contact for an instant - and then his hand is wrapped around yours and he’s pulling you towards Sunshine. You’re too shocked to resist, even if you wanted to. You really shouldn’t be, considering a moment ago he was hugging you like his life depended on it, but… there’s a line, at least for him, and you’d assumed that holding hands would be far across it. Even if this is a dream. Still, you’re determined to enjoy it while it lasts.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” he says, once you’ve gotten your ice cream and sat down. He’s almost completely calmed down by now, but he hasn’t let go of your hand. Is he still worried about you disappearing on him? But you told him you wouldn’t. Maybe he just doesn’t trust that you’ll keep your word.

You think about correcting him - telling him you haven’t been alive for a few years now - but you can’t bring yourself to do it. Instead, you try to work up the courage to give him another truth.

“I -” You can’t say it. This is a dream, it’s likely he won’t even  _ remember  _ it when he wakes up, and yet. The words catch in your throat. You settle on a compromise instead. “I don’t… hate you. That  _ thing  _ was wrong. I could never hate you.” 

A slow, bright smile spreads across his face, and you wonder if he managed to get the message anyway. Your heart, or what’s left of it, is practically in your throat as he opens his mouth to reply - and then you and he both are dumped unceremoniously back into the waking world. 

It takes you a moment to get your bearings, to realize you’re awake. Then you let out a muffled scream into your pillow. Once you’ve sufficiently expressed your frustration with him for having the most  _ inconvenient timing ever,  _ you sit up and look at your phone. Considering.

You haven’t let him see you since the end of the Game. You’d thought he would be better off - happier - without you, after everything you’d done. So you’d stayed out of his life, only allowing yourself to watch from afar as he talked and laughed with his friends. You weren’t meant to be a part of that, you’d told yourself. And yet, when you think about his grief when he thought he’d killed you, his relief when he looked up and saw you - the real you - how  _ genuine  _ he sounded, telling you he was glad you were alive…

… Well. Maybe even a Composer can be wrong, sometimes. Not that you’d ever admit it out loud. 

His number is saved on your phone. You suspect Mr. H had something to do with that, since you never got it yourself. You hesitate for barely a second before pressing the call button. He doesn’t pick up at first - understandable, considering he wouldn’t know it’s you calling - but you’re nothing if not determined once you make up your mind to do something. He finally picks up on the third try, and you grin.

“Hello, Neku. Is your invitation still open?” 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated, and you can find me on tumblr at autisticesper if you want to!


End file.
